Married to the British Forces
by M.L. Shards
Summary: Helen and Peter come to an understanding in the bomb shelter ...movie based...


I never figured out if their father was ever given a name, so he goes by John in this story.

I'm having a hard time trying to write another story so these minor Narnia things pop in from time to time...forgive me...

Want to give recognition to Married to the Canadian Forces .com for inspiring this story

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The sounds of the bombs were heard well into the night, but the children had all fallen asleep a little while after entering the bomb shelter in the backyard. I sat, in the darkness.

I'd never felt more alone.

I glanced down at the broken picture of my husband that Edmund had risked his life to save. Oh dear god…

John why did you have to go away? This is hard, how am I supposed to raise four children on my own not even knowing if I'll ever see you again?

When you first went away, Lucy would see the soldiers walking around in uniform and ask, "Is that father?" She hadn't learned faces as well as she knows them now, but she always recognized the uniform.

I held the candle being used to light the shelter and watched it, looking up to the ceiling.

"Dear lord," I prayed, "protect my family."

_Protect the fighters in this war_

I sat and waited in the silence, listen the gentle snoring of my children. Susan shifted slightly in her sleep while Edmund's head moved as though he was having some sort of bad dream. I couldn't bring myself to wake him.

I started again, "Dear lord, please protect my husband…"

This time my throat went dry and tears welled up in my eyes, but I continued.

"Dear lord, please protect my family, my husband John who is fighting is this war, for this country, for what he believes in."

_Through whatever they may see_

"Protect my children, Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy, they're only children. They have their own battles to fight; they have not had a chance to really live life yet. They are being forced to grow up too fast."

Tears started to fall down my cheeks and I began to realize how scared I really was. **My husband** could die any day, **my children** could die any day, and **I **could die any day.

"Mom? What's wrong?"

His voice was quiet, and I looked up to see Peter looking at me. I wiped my tears away.

"I'm fine dear," I replied, "really, I am."

I hoped I sounded better than I thought it did, but I could tell by the look on his face, I didn't convince him.

"No you're not," he sighed crawling over to me and embracing me in a hug.

I was not going to fall apart in front of my own child. I needed to be strong for him.

"It's okay mom, you can cry," Peter said wrapping his arms around me to hold me like John used to.

"You've grown up so fast," I said burying my face in his shoulder, giving in "I can't do this Peter."

How could my son be stronger than me? I wondered until I realized, I wasn't the only one tearing up.

"You're doing fine."

Silent tears were streaming down Peter's face, from…fear? Love? I wasn't quite sure, yet it comforted me in some way and I returned his gesture by allowing him to cry on my shoulder.

"I feel so helpless mom," Peter sighed trying to wipe away his tears, "I mean, if something happens…I mean Edmund almost…and then what about dad?"

"You're father will be home after this war is over," I tried to comfort, but Peter shook his head.

"What happens if he…" Peter couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence, "I can't do this."

He sounded almost as if he'd been defeated

_I am married to the British Forces_

For a while the situation struck me as odd, even when Peter was younger, he never really cried. How silly it was for me to think that because of that he was incapable of it. John was gone, therefore he felt as though he needed to be the man of the house.

"You're doing fine," I reassured patting him on the back.

"Thanks," he replied.

I stroked his hair like I did when he was a little kid and waited until we both calmed down.

_And I don't know what will happen to me. _

The next day I waved goodbye to them all my children.

I was hurt when Edmund shunned me.

I smiled when Susan smiled.

I was touched when Lucy hugged me.

I turned to Peter to say my final good-bye to him. The night before we'd come to a silent understanding, we were the leaders, we needed to be strong.

"Take care of them." I said smiling sadly

Peter's composure nearly faltered as he hugged me, "I will mom."

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Fin

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